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Pakistani :
A brain tumor patient with end-stage disease was informed that he needed an immediate brain transplant operation. The surgeon told him, "You can have an Indian brain for $10,000 dollars or an American's for $25,000 dollars or I can give you 10 gms. of a Paki's brain for $100,000 dollars." The patient
asked, "Why is the Paki's brain so much more expensive than the others?" "Well," replied the surgeon, "we have to go through a lot of Pakistanis to find 10 gms of brain."
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Pakistan just got their new Chinese fighter planes and sent a squadron of pilots there for training. "Ok, this one is easy to fly", said the Chinese trainer, "even you fools should be able to operate it! You press this button to go up, this one to go left and this one for turning right!" "But how do we come down?" asked Capt.
Arafat Pasha. "Oh," said the Chinese "leave that to the Indian Air Force!"
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Vajpayee and Musharaff meet up in Islamabad for talks on nuclear arms. When Vajpayee sits down he notices
Musharaff 's chair has three buttons on the armrest. They begin talking but after 5 minutes
Musharaff presses a button and a boxing gloves pops out of Vajpayee chair and bashes him on his face. Vajpayee, barely believing it, carries on talking but after another few minutes
Musharaff presses a second button and out comes a large boot and kicks him in the butt. Vajpayee is kicked off but still remains outwardly calm. They resume the talk, but after 5 minutes
Musharaff presses the final button, and from under the table another boxing glove hits Vajpayee. The Indian PM is really fed up by it now and stands up to leave.
"We'll continue this talk Next week in the New Delhi" says the Prime Minister.
Musharaff, choking from laughing, is too proud to say no. So the appointment stands. A week later Vajpayee receives
Musharaff in the Prime Minister's Office.
As Musharaff sits down, he sees three buttons in the arm-rest of Vajpayees chair. As the 20 min meeting goes on,
Musharaff sees Vajpayee press the first button, and ducks really fast, but nothing seems to happen. This doesn't stop Vajpayee from laughing...really loudly. After this, Indian PM continues where he left off, until he presses another button.
Musharaff reacts really quickly, and jumps up. Absolutely nothing happens, and this time Vajpayee falls out of his chair laughing.
Musharaff doesn't get it - what the hell is happening here? But he hasn't been harmed yet, so he sits down again to talk further. After A few minutes Indian PM presses the final button. This time,
Musharaff stays sitting, but Vajpayee isn't, he's rolling on the floor, doubled up from laughing.
Musharaff is really annoyed by now, so he stands up from his chair and shouts: "I've had enough of this, I'm going back to Pakistan "
Vajpayee: (Through tears of laughter from the floor) - " PAKISTAN?? WHAT PAKISTAN??? DO YOU THINK IT'S STILL THERE??"
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In order to develop friendly relationship between the two countries, I.K.Gujral and Nawaz Sharif decided to visit each other's country regularly. The first visit was by Gujral to Pakistan. There Sharif showed him Pakistan's modern telecommunication systems. It was so good that Gujral made a call to Rajiv Gandhi in hell and talked to him for 5 minutes ! The bill for the call came to only Re.1. When Gujral came back, he also wanted India's telecommunication systems to be at the best when Nawaz Sharif visited India. Suitable arrangements were made. Sharif came to India, visited the telecom department and talked to Zia-ul-Haq in hell for 5 minutes. But this time, the bill was Rs. 500! Sharif asked with a sarcastic smile - "Why are telephone calls to hell so costly in India ?" A High level diplomat gave a smiling reply - "From Pakistan to hell, it is a local call, Sir, while from India it is long distance!".
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Khalistan Jokes:
Khalistan National Drink: Sarbat Khalsa
Khalistan National Bird: Tandoori Chicken
International Airline: Kitthe Pacific
National Airline: Itthe Pacific
National Anthem: Sten gun man
National Taxi Service: Kar Seva
Capital : Turban Pore
National Seat : Akal Takth
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What happened when there was a power cut at the Karachi airport?
Thousands of Pakistanis were stuck on the escalator.
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A Paki news editor got 20 years in prison for calling the Prime Minister a fool.
5 years for the scandal and 15 for revealing a state secret!
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Ashraf, the Pakistani went to London's Heathrow airport to buy his ticket back home to Rawalpindi.
At the counter he found that he was 10pence short of the fare. Having no other way out, he turned to all the other passengers and begged.." Will someone please give me 10 pence? I badly want to go back and meet my Abba and Ammi again!
"Here" said a Sardar, reaching into his wallet and handing him one Pound ".....keep the change and take nine of your country men with you!"
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A Pakistani tourist after a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of Delhi (India) found himself needing a toilet badly. After a long search he could not find any, Eventually couldn't control and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself. Once he had just started,
a police official approached him, Hey What do you think you're doing here? Pakistani tourist: sorry I have to "P" Police: No PP here okay? Follow me... The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around.... Police: PP here.. have a nice day police said. Pakistani tourist: Oh sir ... that is very nice of you, is this Indian courtesy? Police: No... this is Pakistani Embassy !!
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How do you stop a Pakistani tank?
Shoot the men who are pushing it.
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How do you disable Pakistani missiles?
Cut the rubber band.
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Have you ever seen Pakistani war heroes?
Neither has Pakistan.
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Did you hear about the other latest Pakistani invention?
The new automatic parachutes. They open on impact.
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How do you sink a Pakistani battleship?
Put it in water.
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How do you sink a Pakistani submarine?
Tap on the hatch while its submerged.
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Did you hear about the 747 jets which Crashed into a cemetery in Karachi?
The Pakistani officials have so far Recovered 3000 bodies.
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Did you hear about the Pakistani admiral who had asked to be buried at sea ?
Five Pakistani sailors died digging his grave.
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Did you hear about the shutdown of the Karachi National Library?
Somebody stole the book.
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You're locked in a room with Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler, and a Pakistani.
You have a gun with two bullets.
What do you do?
Shoot the Pakistani twice to make sure he's dead.
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What is brown and black and looks great on a Pakistani?
A Doberman.
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How can you tell when a Pakistani is lying?
His lips are moving.
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What do you have when a Pakistani is buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand.
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Did you hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of Pakistanis?
He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
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There's an Indian guy, a Pakistani guy and a beautiful woman Sitting next to each other in a train.
The train goes through a tunnel and everything gets dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then slap!
The train comes out of the tunnel.
The woman and the Indian are sitting there looking perplexed. The Pakistani is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.
The Pakistani is thinking, "Ya Allah, that Indian must have tried to kiss this lady, she thought it was me and slapped me." The lady is thinking, "That Pakistani must have moved to kiss me and kissed the Indian instead and got slapped."
The Indian was thinking to........... "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap that Pakistani again."
