Sardarjee :

Santa Singh ji the english lecturer Sardar Santa Singh ji is the english teacher in a school. He is very well renowned for all his students do very well in exams. The school is having an inspection and the inspector decided to visit the english class. This is what transpires : Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA " 
Students (in chorus) : "GADHA " 
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PEECHE GADHA " 
Students (in chorus) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PEECHE GADHA " 
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PEECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHE MAI" 
Students (in chorus) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PEECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PEECHE MAI" 
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PEECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHE MAI AUR MERE PEECHE SAARA DESH " 
Students (in chorus) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PEECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PEECHE MAI AUR MERE PEECHE SAARA DESH" 
By this time the inspector is furious . He confronts the principal and shouts at him "What is this Santa Singh teaching to students. He is supposed to be taking an english class and what he is saying is GADHA,GADHE KE PEECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PEECHE MAI AUR MERE PEECHE SAARA DESH .The principle too is shocked , Santa Singh the famous english teacher doing this. He immediately sends for for Santa Singh. 
Principal : " Santa singh ji what nonsense are you telling these students , GADHA , GADHE KE PEECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PEECHE MAI AUR MERE PEECHE SAARA DESH". 
Santa Singh : " Yes I was telling all this in class, but I was only teaching the students the spellings of ASSASSINATION (ASS ASS I NATION). 

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Once there were 2 sardarjis who were engaged in printing fake notes. Accidently one day one of the sardarjis printed one 7 rupee note. Not knowing what to do with this he went to the other sardarji and asked him whether he has change for a 7 rupee note, the other sardarji replied yes and fetched a 3 rupee and a 4 rupee note as the change. 

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A sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing 
The bystander : A Marathon race is going on 
Sardar : What do they get from that? 
Bystander : The winner will get a prize 
Sardar : Then why are the others running?! 

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Santa singh and Banta singh are employed in a computer hardware store as movers. One day both of them are asked to move some computers. Santa Singh being energetic that day doesn't feel the computer to be heavy at all. At the same time he sees that Banta Singh is struggling very hard to lift his computer. At this Santa Singh says " What Banta, my comp has 500 MB HD and urs has just 250, even then u cannot lift it ???" At this Banta Singh thinks for a while and replies "Thats right, but my HD is full and urs is empty" 

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The Sardarji Doctor to his patient: "It's very important that you take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain." 

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There were these two Sardarji twins who looked so incredibly alike, that sometimes they borrowed money from each other without the other really knowing about it. 

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We're almost there," said the Santa Singh to Banta Singh. "See those two houses over there... mine's the one in the middle!"

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Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They're there for those who don't drink.

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Why do sardars have see-through lunch box lids?
So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.

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A sardar's response to the comment, "THINK about it!":
"I don't have to think-I'm sardar!"

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Two surds go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore. The first surd says: "I hope you remember the spot where we caught all those fish." The other answers:" "Yes, I made an 'X' on the side of the boat to mark the spot." "You idiot!" replies the first. "How do you know we will get the same boat tomorrow?"

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Santa Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone. "Is this one one one one?", says the voice. "No, this is eleven eleven." "Are you sure it isn't one one one one?" "No, this is eleven eleven." "Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night." "That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway." 

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A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho(what are you doing)?" To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, 'Wash Basin'" 

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A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"

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A sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over him. The sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly.

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How many sardars does it take to pull off a kidnapping?
Six. One to kidnap the victim and five to write the ransom note.

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Why are sardar secret agents the best in the world?
Because even under torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to.

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Did you hear about the sardar who signed all his cheques so no one else could use them if he lost his chequebook?

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Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to give him all their burnt out light bulbs?
He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.

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Banta Singh was painting his living room one hot day. "Why", his friend Santa Singh asked him, "are you wearing two jackets?". "Because," said Banta Singh, "The directions on the can said to put on two coats." 

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A sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. then the foreman asked the sardar why he kept painting less each day, he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can."

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How do you make a sardarji laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

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Santa Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked," Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?
"Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!"
"Oh! How nice it would be," said Santa with joy,
"I have been illiterate for so long."

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