Bollywood Special :
Film : Gambler , Song : Meri Marzi
Mera source code padh kar hasnaa nahin,
Ise chalata dekh tum fasna nahin,
Main testing karta hun boss ki kasam,
Bina piye Whiskey , Beer ya Rum,
Bill Gates milaa mujhe raste mein,
Beche Windows humne saste main,
Usne kaha "Tujhe CEO banaoo",
Ghar tere aake Operator ban jaoon...
Bill Gates ko kaha mere ghar na aanaa,
Bill Joy ko bol diya naa baba naa,
Chahe Boston me dede mujhe BMW car,
Ya H-1 pe dede mujhe dollar dus hazaar,
Par development ke liye main to kachha hoon,
Dus saal se Porting me achchaa hoon,
(slow)
Mere daddoo, likhe software,
Binaa use kiye, koi Hardware,
Meri beti, banegi Aunty,
Jab tak install hoga NT
(fast)
Release ho raha hai mera Software nayaa,
Unix ko DOS pe hai port kiyaa,
Microsoft ne jab mera H-1 kiyaa,
Bug free Windows maine release kiya...
-=-=-=-=-=-
Bill gates of microsoft
(Modified version of dil to pagal hai)
Bill to pagal hain.......
Bill deewana hain.....
Ache bure softwares banvata hain yahi,
hasata he yahi, rulata hain,
usme phir 'bugs' dalta hain wohi,
aur solutions bhi nikalta hain,
bill to pagal hain.......
Bill deewana hain.....
Is bill ki bato mein jo aate hain,
woto oolu ban jatte hain,
software to dusare bhi banate hain,
banake magar kho jate hain,
hmmm bill to pagal hain.......
Bill deewana hain.....
Softwares ko main na pehchanoongi,
working bhi na mein uska janoongi,
microsoft ka logo bass mein dekhoongi,
bill jo kahega wohi manoongi.
Bill to pagal hain.......
Bill deewana hain.....
Bill ka kehna hum sab maane,
bill na kisi ki maane,
uski strategy jaan li hamne,
ek wohi na maane.
Bill to pagal hain.......
Bill deewana hain.....
Chodo ye bill sab kahaniya,
'bugs' ki hain sab nishaniya,
Programmers ki sari pareshaniya,
Iss bill ki hain ye meherbaniya.
Hmmm bill to pagal hain bill deewana hain...
-=-=-=-=-=-
Filmstars Amitabh Bachchan and Pran are standing at a bus stop. A bus comes and leaves with Pran on board. Amitabh is still at the bus-stop. Why?
'Coz "Pran Jaaye par Bachan na Jaaye"
-=-=-=-=-=-
Is this what you feel!
Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - ye Maine Kya Kiya ?
Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai
Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal hai
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha
Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye
Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge
Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwalamukhi
Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic
Shaadi ke baad - Kagaz Ki Nao
Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hain Koun?
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran
Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss:-)
Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss:-(
Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani
Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma
-=-=-=-=-=-
Pentium II and Pentium I = Bade Miyan Chhote Miyan
An employee who signs a bond = Bandhan
Ctrl C+ Ctrl V = Duplicate
An employee on probation = Paying Guest
Ctrl + Alt + Del = Aakhri Raasta
An employee who frequently changes the company= Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi
An employee who is ready to sign a bond= Dulhan Banu Mai Teri
An employee without signing bond= Kachche Dhage
Sister concern= Judwaa
Boss say to employees when asked for increment = Kuch Kuch Hota Hain
An employee who works sincerely =Dil Se
An employee who is ready to leave his job = Doli Saja Ke Rakhna
A project having two projects leaders = Ek Phool Do Mali
An employee without accommodation= Pardesi Babu
Password= China Gate
Super User Password = Gupt
An employee who sticks to a company for more than Three years = Amar Prem
Bill Gates = Humse Badhkar Kaun
Microsoft Corporation =Ustadon Ke Ustad
Group Leader = Khal Nayak
Backup = Jagte Raho
Dos & Windows = Do Raaste
F1 = Guide
Internet = Door Gagan Ki Chhav Mein
Operator vs computer= Main Khiladi Tu Anadi
Windows 95 = Bade Dilwala
Undelete' = Naya Jivan
Project incharge= Mohra
An employee who falls in love during his posting In foreign country = Love in Tokyo
An employee who left the job without informing = Nau Do Gyarah
Mail Merge in MS Word = Sangam
Server = Godfather
Interview = Muqabla
Result of Interview = Kadwa Sach
An employee who fails to get visa = Hero Hindustani
Visa = Border
A system infected by virus = Pyar to Hona Hi Tha
Anti virus Kit = Soldier
System without RAM = Kora Kagaz
Temporary file = Khote Sikkey
A system which frequently requires bootable disk= Sharabi
A computer for the virus = Piya Ka Ghar
Hard disk vs Floppy Disk = Gharwali Baharwali
Boss having less knowledge than employee= Baap Numbary Beta Dus Numbary
-=-=-=-=-=-
Big Bloppers From Hindi films
#Pyar To Hona Hi Tha
Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her. Poor girl, little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside.
#Rangeela
Aamir Khan tells his friend that he will take Urmila Matondkar for a chinese meal. Strangely when they are in restaurant, Aamir Khan orders usal pav etc. What's happened to the noodle & chowmein wish
#Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi
Akshay Kumar boards a Jet Airways flight toAmerica. Well well - some promotion for our Indian Jet Airways - since when did they start flying abroad ?
#Raja Hindustani
Navneet Nishan has a short hair before marriage.But after tying the knot, overnight she acquires waist-length hair. What a hair raising experience !!
#Raja
Dilip Tahil empties a can of petrol over Madhuri. Minutes later, Sanjay Kapoor takes the same can and pours it over Dilip Tahil. Thats what I call a autofil !
#Guddu
Manisha & Shahrukh are seen hanging on a parachute during a song. But when the song ends, they land down on the Glider. What a switch above sea level!!
#Tere Mere Sapne
Priya Gill is doing her B.A. But at the bus stop,she is carrying her electrical technology thesis by B.L.Theraja. What an electrifying interest
-=-=-=-=-=-
The villain has the heroine tied to an electric chair with a long electric wire leading to a switch. The villain throws the switch and the electricity is now shown flowing towards the heroin. The hero is running towards the heroine racing with electricity to save her, and yes he is catching up.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Funny episode:
Actors : Paintal, Keshto Mukherjee
Paintal is chasing Keshto Mukherjee and the chase leads both of them to a hospital.
Keshto keeps going in circles in and out of different corridors and finally sees an empty stretcher lying around. Keshto lies down on the stretcher and covers himself up with the plain white bedsheet.
Paintal comes panting and does not see Keshto anywhere around but he does spot the stretcher and lifts the top of the bedsheet out of curiosity.
The moment the bedsheet is uncovered, Keshto who is still lying on the stretcher, says in a hushed up voice: "Dead body, dead body".
Paintal immediately covers up Keshto again and runs away from there!!.
-=-=-=-=-=-